Kids and Their Sport

For nearly three decades, I’ve had kids in all kinds of sports. I love everything about it when a child wants to participate in athletics. I KNOW how much the physical activity and mental workouts help kids who have been through trauma. The activity itself helps change the neuro/bio-chemisty of the brain and the body, and it gives them a chance to help their very being grow in new ways.

Right now, Gavin, one of my teenagers, is on a club level swim team and the changes in him over the past 6 months is close to a miracle. A year ago, literally, he asked if he could swim, and he started in a beginning swim class. He is a kid who came out of severe abusive trauma and has always been quite anxious. He has had particular issues with any kind of perceived criticism or correction. Any mistake or misstep on his part (or his siblings) during his early years often resulted in intense physical and emotional torture. As a result, Gavin can shut down easily and frequently, refusing to talk or participate in any given activity until his neuro system can get to a more relaxed (less panicked) state. He has slowly healed as his body has found consistent physical and emotional safety, but he has permanent anxiety and, over the past year, we have been working on helping him become cognizant of triggers, self advocacy, and self care. At 13 years old, puberty has added to the mix of the emotional roller coaster.

***** I am an affiliate with several advertising groups . This allows me to earn a commission if you make any kind of purchase through the links I provide. There is no extra cost to you. *****

When Gavin asked to swim last year, I was thrilled, as I know how the physical activity will affect his emotional equilibrium. But he’d never had any swimming instruction… just a love of water and chances to play in a pool as often as we could as a family. I put him in a beginner’s class and he took to it fast and managed his responses amazingly well when the instructor would correct his strokes, etc. He would report that he felt frustrated and almost panicked at times when given corrections, like he was being criticized the whole time, but, at 12 years old, after 6 years with me, he was starting to be able to process those feelings and understand that teaching and instruction is NOT dangerous to his physical and emotional well-being. We practiced a simple phrase he could repeat when he felt his anxiety rising…”I am not in danger. I am not in danger. I am safe. I am safe.”

So he managed to fly through beginning classes during the winter session last year, then he worked hard through the advanced classes during the spring session, which had pretty strict instruction and learning new strokes. He never missed a class! He then asked to join the summer swim team for the summer, which is the city recreational swim league. He enjoyed learning to race and was able to handle not winning. He was still able to process with me at times that he could feel his negative and anxious responses to the new challenges, but as soon as he’d start swimming, everything in his body seemed to calm down, including his brain. I was watching this kid grow in self awareness by leaps and bounds.

During one of the summer meets, Gavin saw information about our local club team (a USSA – United States Swimming Association – sanctioned organization), which is SERIOUS about training. He asked if he could try it. Of course, I was all for it, but was clear about the commitment. It is a significant financial commitment for me, so he was expected to honor his commitment, too. The beginning level required practice 3 days a week.

Gavin started swim team last fall, but at the same time, he suffered two VERY significant traumatic triggers within a week. There was no new trauma, specifically, but his older bio sister (whom I adopted at the same time) left for college, taking away a mother figure and constant safety source from birth. Then three days after his sister left, their birth mother made contact unexpectedly (directly with the kids without my knowledge). She is still not a safe person emotionally and said a lot of things about coming to get her “babies” back. Within a week, Gavin was at Children’s ER twice with suicidal thoughts.

Through those times, Gavin continued to insist that he get to go to his new swim team. And I think swimming is literally saving his life. The harder his day, the more he insists on going. He is able to verbalize how the swimming makes everything in him feel more “whole.”

Fast forward 6 months and Gavin has had several meets and takes significant seconds off his events. He does not seem to feel distressed that he is still slowest in his age group and is “swimming against himself” right now to improve his strokes and his times. Just yesterday, he’s begun the transition to move up to the next level training group already, which is a 4 day a week commitment. He is also a happy, engaged, funny teenager and I am very grateful for Gavin’s growth and am looking forward to finding out where this journey will take him.

The sport itself is not a miracle ‘cure,’ as we are also consistent with counseling (we work hard to find the right therapist), and a medication that helps with depression specifically. But getting a traumatized kid into physical motion is an essential tool.

This is only one instance of how team sports has been part of the healing package for some of my kids. And everything in me will make sure this continues to be part of any child’s life if they choose it as part of their trauma recovery and self discovery.

~~~~~

If you want to read more about any of the kids’ journeys, click on their name under categories to the right –>

I’d really love to have you along for the journey! Sign up here to get email notes every time I post a new article. There are a lot more stories to come!!!